4/19/25 [first entry!!]
[song: Mice on Venus by C418]
I recently finally found my old tape recorder again, and along with it, a recording from the summer of 2023- and man, it was a trip to listen to again. Well, before that, there was a recording of karaoke from my birthday party from earlier in the year, which…
Didn’t start off great, but it was better when i stopped voring the mic, lol.
but then [after a wonderful rendition of Down to the Bone, the undertale fansong, by two people whose voices I do not have permission to put on the internet] it goes on to a recording from that summer, of a sleepover with me and my closest friend Link. Man, it was weird as hell, especially considering we ended up talking about the future. I was coming off of a really bad school year grades-wise, and I didn’t know this, but the next year would be fantastic for me- that is, until.. probably the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me that next april. It was such a strange thing to hear me talk about stuff like that, especially this part:
“A message to myself, once I’ve already been [redacted]th graded- um, I hope it went well, and if it didn’t, it can always get better.” Man. If that doesn’t sum up the way I was back then, nothing does. Honestly, I’ve spend the better part of this year healing from that event, and I can fully say that I’m in a great place right now, mentally. It’s so damn weird to compare myself to how I was last year, I swear- I was so hopeless and alone, and without me even noticing it, I just… got out. I got out of that awful place, and it did get better, and it’s all starting to feel real again. I’m laughing again, I’m doing bits, I’m thinking about ocs and stimming over fictional characters, I’m finally, finally okay. I was right, and it did get better.
All this to say… If I ever got access to time travel, the first thing I’m doing is giving my past self a bone crushing hug. And then showing him all of my concert videos.